ARIES-ARIES

The ARIES-ARIES Relationship

Then rather curiously they both snapped out the same
remark:
"Shut up!"
"Shut up!"
I wonder is it proper and dignified for an Aries person like myself to analyze
the 1-1 Sun Sign vibrational influence between two Rams - to describe
what it's like when they blend their compatible but equally combustible natures,
as friends, neighbors, relatives, business associates, lovers or mates? Let
me consider it for a moment. All right, I've considered it. Of course it's proper.
Who's better qualified? No one. As for being dignified, receiving a Dignity

Achievement Award has never been my chief goal in life. That settles that. So
let's get on with it. I can't stand waiting around for things to happen, can you?
First, we should probably discuss the number of mistakes it's possible for
two Rams to make, in a close association. Gigantic. Simply gigantic. Still, the
number of successes can also be overwhelming - and since Rams are so frequently
compelled to impulsively jump into puddles head first (Aries always
leads with the head), it won't be so lonesome being stuck upside down in the
mud, with a kindred soul for company.
When these two strong egos first mix their personal auras, clear the field,
and count down for the blast-off, which is usually a surge of spontaneous empathy.
It's really such a joy to discover a positive, enthusiastic, and open personality,
after being stuck with all those squeamish squares, and boring wet blankets
- the secretive, stingy ones, and especially those cold, unapproachable
people who freeze you, when all you're trying to do is be friendly. No wonder
there's such an instant rush of mutual admiration! Each Ram will find it a
blessed relief that the other one isn't all stuffy about things like extravagance,
impulsive behavior, rash speech, and being late for appointments. Not only
that, now there's someone who will go to the dentist with them, and not think
they're "sissy."
Most Arians hate two things equally: (a) going to the dentist - and (b) having
someone take their picture "candidly" or otherwise. Sitting still and posing
while the photographer adjusts lights in a studio is almost as bad as submitting
to a molar tooth extraction or root canal work, because it gives you all that time
to decide you're ugly, which is equally as grinding a pain to the self-conscious
Rams, who are ultra-concerned and somewhat vain about how they look. (Astrologically,
Aries rules the physical appearance.) The Ram's fear of the dentist
is in no way, however, a reflection on Aries courage. Mars supplies these people
with all the courage they need, and an extra helping of it anytime they ask, even
on very short notice. Their dread of the dental drill is an isolated hang-up, and
mustn't be construed to mean that Rams are cowards. They simply don't like
anyone messing around with their heads. That normally includes drugs. It definitely
includes eyes, ears, nose and mouth - also the brain - which means don't
mess with their opinions either.
Most Aries females, for instance, dislike going to beauty parlors. Beauticians
are so bossy, and they simply will not comb your hair the way you tell
them, or part it where you order them to part it. After all, it's not their hair, it's
your hair, but give them an inch, and they'll snip off four. The Aries woman
may impulsively, to her later regret, cut her own hair drastically too short, or
crooked - but let someone else turn her into a shorn lamb, and she'll be furious.
As furious as she'd be with herself. (Aries is not at all selective about anger.)
Girl Rams would rather go to the extra trouble of washing their hair at home
than suffer a hair stylist who thinks he (or she) owns their heads. The Aries sensitivity
related to anything connected with the head area is really pronounced.
You'd be sensitive about your head, too, if you had a dozen or so scars scattered
around on your head and face you began collecting in childhood, from crashing
into things (and people) head first.
As for the "extra trouble" of doing something themselves, that's no large
thing. Rams almost never mind going to "extra trouble" for themselves, or for
others. When it's for others, the extra trouble stems from the generous impulse
of the Mars-ruled souls to give more than may be needed of their time, money,
love, loyalty, and everything else. When it comes to themselves, they tend to
bring on the extra trouble by creating problems where none would exist if the
situation were left alone. "Leaving well enough alone" seems like silly advice to
a Ram. Why should anyone be satisfied with "well enough"? What kind of a
goal is that when, with a little effort, well enough can be made better? (Aries
never theorizes that well enough might possibly be made worse.)
Unless one or both Rams have a Capricorn, Taurus or Cancer Moon Sign or
Ascendent, it will probably be easy for them to borrow money from each other,
and neither will be likely to create a fuss about being paid back promptly -
which is another area of empathy between them. These two are straightforward
about everything, including money. It never occurs to them to be deceptive.
Actually, they don't know how.
Now and then, they may overestimate their ability to pay, or even forget a
debt, because of being caught up in something new that's so exciting it consumes
their entire attention, but they are not dishonest, and absolutely never
sneaky. Nothing both hurts and angers a Ram more than to be unjustly mistrusted
or suspected. It would mortify the typical Aries man or woman to let
down anyone to whom either gave his word, and this includes creditors. Arians
may be either forgetful or delinquent, but eventually they'll pay everything they
owe in full, often more than they owe - because Rams are not unduly suspicious,
or cautious, about spending, so it's easy for them to be oversold and overcharged.
No matter. The Mars idea about money is that when it disappears,
more will soon manifest, in one way or another. (Does the Infant fret and worry
about where the next dry diaper or bottle of milk will come from? Certainly
not. It will magically appear when needed. Everybody knows that!) Each Aries
person in this 1-1 Sun Sign Pattern association will be touchingly grateful for
the trust of the other. Not only will two Rams usually instinctively trust one another,
they won't take advantage of one another, and considering the way the
rest of the world usually treats both of them, this can be a warm and wonderful
feeling.
It's all a merry-go-round of happiness between Aries and Aries in the beginning,
but after the pink cotton candy melts, there may be moments of disillusion.
You know what happens when Fire meets Fire? Higher and hotter
flames. That should indicate the possible ramifications of an association between
two wild and woolly Rams, whether it's business, romantic, friendly or
otherwise. It could be otherwise, if they insist on butting away at the impossible
task of trying to break each other's vulnerable yet indomitable and unconquerable
spirit.
Scattered among the more typical extroverted Arians, are the not as common,
Sheep-type Aries people, whose Mars egos have been, very sadly, crushed
in childhood, and who therefore control their natural exuberance behind a most
unnatural introversion. If the two Aries people who are involved with one another
belong to this group, they may not appear, on the surface, to be capable of
arousing anger in each other, but appearances are deceptive. At some time, in
some way, their horns are sure to lock.
When Mars clashes with Mars, the result can be full-scale war, with all flags
flapping, bravely and colorfully. Occasional flare-ups are bound to occur when
these two are thrown into close, daily proximity, without the relief of some separateness
in their association. But there will also be some glorious Highs to offset
these Lows.
Most of the time, the direct, forceful manner of Mars will create a wave of
sympathy between two Aries people. It's when their mutual need for ego trips
overlaps that they can expect the fireworks. Here's a possible solution to that
problem: One Ram is permitted to have everything his way on Mondays,
Wednesdays and Fridays. The other Ram gets to be Big Boss on Sundays,
Tuesdays and Thursdays. Saturdays, they can just fight it out, letting the Ram
with the toughest horns win - and bind up the loser's wounds with typical Aries
instant contriteness and warm generosity. It's a formula that should be successful
in most cases, since neither Aries will mind taking a periodic fling at playing
second glockenspiel, knowing that he - or she - will be allowed to be conductor
again the next day.
It's been said that Aries people have a way about them. They do. Their
own way. Yet, despite that sometimes antagonistic Martian exterior, they'll
sense each other's desperate need to be appreciated and liked. When they get
together, they may struggle for leadership, but the experience will supply some
well-needed lessons. The shock of living with someone - or being around someone
- as innocently thoughtless, selfish and aggressive as one's self, is sure to
soften any battering Ram, although there may be a few scars to show for the lessons
in living thus mastered. Aries hearts always carry more scars than the
Rams ever show, or openly discuss.
It will be necessary for both of them to realize that Aries is the Infant of the
zodiac, symbolizing the dawn of the personality awareness, or Sunrise. Aries represents
the East, the Day Forces - which is why most of them fight sleep, tranquility, rest and resignation to Fate with such vigor. The negative intrusion of
any degree of criticism or pessimism darkens a Ram's "Easter" horizon, and
considerably dampens the Aries spirit, especially when the blow to innocence
and Sunrise faith is delivered forcefully from another Ram. Yet, temporary resentment
seldom remains long enough to become permanent bitterness, because
Aries possesses a childlike faith that a quarrel can somehow be made up, a relationship
can be repaired each time it's broken. It's unthinkable to a Ram that
any given situation is anything but the way he (or she) sees it at the time. Nevertheless,
no one (except Sag and Gemini) can switch a mistaken viewpoint
more swiftly, or bury yesterday's unhappiness and hurt more completely, than
an Aries man, woman or child who is handled gently. To a Ram of either sex, or
any chronological age (barring a more pessimistic Moon Sign and/or Ascendent),
each Sunrise brings a new covenant of resurrection - the resurrection of
a shattered dream, idea, goal or friendship. Why look backward, or worry about
what's past, and couldn't be helped, when today is so full of promise?
A few sentences back, you'll notice the phrase "who is handled gently" in
italics. The trouble is, although Rams need to be handled gently themselves,
they aren't inclined to handle each other (or anyone else) gently. Aries people
can't seem to get the hang of the Golden Rule. They comprehend, even personify,
its generosity and forgiveness, but they can't quite interpret what it means to
treat others as tenderly as they need to be treated. They will not be led by the
nose, pushed or forced by anyone, including those who are clearly stronger than
they are, and certainly not by each other. (A typical Aries person would literally
stand before a criminal who pointed a loaded gun in his - or her - direction,
and fearlessly talk back.) Rams expect their own wishes to be granted, their
own orders obeyed without question, as quickly as possible (unless there's a
softening influence of several Pisces or Libra planets in the horoscope). It's the
instinctive Mars urge to rebel. The drive to initiate and to lead is so strong in
some Mars-ruled men, women and children that even friendly suggestion is
sometimes construed as unbearable interference, let alone the forceful commands
of a relative, neighbor, friend, business associate, mate or lover born under
the same, unconsciously demanding Sun Sign.
If one of the two Aries people is stronger by planetary positions at birth
(not wiser and more patient, which would be beneficial, but stronger), the result
of the association could be that the "weaker" Ram gradually turns into a neurotic
Sheep, constantly and pathetically almost apologizing for his (or her) very existence
- or else rationalizing every word and action, for fear of offending or being
misunderstood. Such a situation is very sad, for to see the proud strength of
a spirited astrological "animal" like the Ram reduced to weakness and tears,
constantly attempting to placate the more dominate personality, yet inwardly
frustrated and emotionally restricted, is against the first law of astrology: Be
true to your own Sun Sign essence, or be prepared to lose the powerful individual
potential of your own birthright.
It's never easy for two Rams to exist in tranquil harmony (although it can
undeniably be exciting!). One happy probability is that both of them will usually
be inclined to forgive and forget everything but the most cruel encounters.
As for the latter, a powerful effort should be made to avoid them, because they'll
be long remembered by Aries for the very same reason that infants, who
instantly forget, with a trusting smile, the more commonplace hurts and
pains - will recall, with subconscious terror, the deeper experiences of traumatic
rejection.... sometimes forever.
Two Rams will have to try to control their tendency to lash out at one another
while their tempers are still hot. They'll strike a blow, shortly afterward
feel a surge of guilt over their hasty unkindness, then impulsively attempt to
make up for their anger by showering each other with an outburst of affection,
or the peace offering of an extravagant gift. Gifts, by the way, are a Ram's way
of saying "I like you" or "I love you" - occasionally given apologetically to say
"I'm sorry." But never is an Aries gift given for the purpose of "buying friendship."
The Mars-ruled are contemptuous of getting what they want by buying it
(they're accustomed to demanding it). So they fiercely resent, and are also very
deeply hurt by, such untrue insinuations or accusations. Aries gifts are always
from the heart, given in a straightforward and honest gesture of good will. Nevertheless,
their motives are often misunderstood by those too materialistically
minded themselves to be able to comprehend giving without some ulterior motive
(since that's their own pattern of behavior, they believe everyone must be
the same).
Happily, this is another area of hurt two Rams probably won't inflict upon
one another. Each Aries person understands the gift-giving syndrome that's
part of the Mars nature (matched only by the other two Fire Signs) and, therefore,
both will usually give and receive joyously, back and forth. A Ram is as delighted
to receive a gift as to be able to give one. It's part of the wisdom of Aries
innocence to know that it's of equal importance to graciously receive as to generously
give. For if no one received happily, there could be no happy giving. Consequently,
the typical Ram will react with the elation of a child to the receiving
of a "surprise present," and two Arians can keep themselves broke (but exalted
and happy) as a result of their mutual urge to express their enthusiasms through
gifting.
Down through the centuries, the Ram has been a symbol of sacrifice for
spiritually blind, emotionally warped and mentally dense religious fanatics. The
Old Testament is packed with bloody examples of the "burnt offerings" of these
misguided "holy men." In no way was the patriarch Abraham following "God's"
wishes or commands to first be willing to murder his own son to please the Almighty,
and then to "hear" God's voice grant a last minute reprieve, commanding
him to murder a helpless Sheep in his place. Abraham, sadly, heard only the
voice of his own delusions, not the voice of God. Neither of our infinitely compassionate
and wise co-Creators would be so sadistic as to command the murder
of children, or of the lowliest of our animal brothers and sisters, for Their own
greater glory, as a senseless test of faith and obedience. The Earth sorely needed
the example set by the gentle Nazarene, Jesus, who used the Sheep in parable
after parable illustrating love and kindness, who is often pictured embracing the
"lamb" and who brought to the world the image of the Good Shepherd, in his effort
to straighten out the kinks in the twisted thinking of these "servants of
God," who were, through their cruel sacrifices of animals, unknowingly serving
Satan, for all their otherwise pious and humble attitudes.
In such mythical legends as Jason and the Golden Fleece, the sad fate of the
Ram has been repeated, all through mythology, as well as in biblical history.
The unfortunate Ram who attempted to cross dangerous seas and rescue a
brother and sister from the jealous act of a stepmother, in a great act of courage,
was unable to save the sister from drowning. When he reached the shore, and
delivered the brother safely, his thanks was to be murdered, for allowing the
other one to die, even though he had tried desperately to save her.
Such is the symbolic fate, in varying degrees, in all kinds of endeavors, of
many Aries people. For all their enthusiastic efforts and the sincerity of their
impulses, human Rams frequently are either ignored or despised for their trouble
by the very ones they have tried to help. The Arian simplicity of purpose
and direct approach isn't always welcomed by the more cynical of this world.
Ram Thomas Jefferson discovered this, as did modern day Aries politician Eugene
McCarthy. Ram Nikita Khrushchev's personal motives were also, to a
large extent, misunderstood and unappreciated both by his own people and by
Americans.
And so, the teaming up of two Arians can be beneficial, inasmuch as they're
able to help each other avoid becoming a "burnt offering," or being sacrificed to
the calculated maneuvers of the more worldly wise who would "fleece" them.
They provide each other with protection against those who would otherwise
take advantage of their altruistic instincts. There are always bullies who wait
for a chance to attack the defenseless. Admittedly, it's difficult to image the
feisty, fiery and normally outspoken Rams as "defenseless." But in the final
analysis, they are extremely vulnerable to those who would use their natural
guilelessness and lack of sophistication against them.
In any association between two Aries people, within the family circle, in the
office or across the bridge of love and friendship, one thing is certain: emotions
will periodically run high, and close to the surface. Catullus described perfectly
the attitude of this Sun Sign to its own emotional immaturity, when he wrote: I
hate and I love. You may ask why I do so. I do not know. But I feel it, and am
in torment.
Between two Rams, there will seldom be any deception, pretense or hypocrisy,
but neither will there be a great deal of caution, reason or practicality.
There's very little that will be neutral in this 1-1 Sun Sign Pattern vibration of
the double Mars involvement. These two are capable of reaching the far heavens
of happiness, or of consuming themselves in childish displays of rage, resentment
and thoughtless selfishness. Yet they will never fail to understand and
sympathize with each other's bright red, diamond-dusted dreams, especially
those dreams that didn't quite make it, for one reason or another. Perhaps together,
they can both try again. And somehow, someway, someday they'll
win. Tough dreamers always do.

ARIES Woman ARIES Man

So uproariously gay was the dance, and how they buffeted
each other on the bed and out of it! It was a pillow fight
rather than a dance, and when it was finished, the pillows
insisted on one bout more . . .
As fiercely independent, bright and clever as the Aries girl is, the Aries man is
even more so - in his own opinion. And he'll demand recognition of it eventually,
no matter how he fools her, and himself, in the beginning. From the very
first time she pushes through a door ahead of him, he'll feel the faint stirring of
a desire to teach her that, in any tangle between a girl and a boy Ram, the male
of the Sun Sign will win. He should decide to thus subdue her early in the game,
or say goodbye. There may be a few noisy, tearful skirmishes before she catches
on, but she'll blossom beautifully when she's allowed - no, forced - to become
a woman.
However, demanding that she drop her career or job to take up the full-time
job of waiting on his whims is not the most ideal way to unfold her womanhood,
and establish his manhood. There are other ways. Unless she willingly sacrifices
her "pie-them" occupation to warm his slippers, or join him in his personal
goals, forgetting her own (which sometimes happens), it's best for him to let her
stay out there where it's all happening. It would also be a wise mutual decision
to let it be his income that pays the rent or mortgage, food and utilities bills.
Her money can provide the extra things they'll need to satisfy the extravagant
impulses they both frequently feel. That way, the male Aries will be solidly entrenched
in the image of the masculine side of the team, and it's important to
get that straight, right at the start.
I mean, let it be plainly understood that he is MAN and she is WOMAN.
There will be lots of opportunities to wonder about the division of actual control
in the relationship, and there's no sense adding to this by a confusion of sexual
male-female roles.
The masculinity challenge of the Mars female begins the day she first zings
the male Ram of her choice in the heart with her sparkling hopes and excitements,
so much like his own, and will follow him through all sorts of living arrangements,
including temporary geographical separation. She may try to
dominate him by telephone, telegram or letter, if he's not within touching distance.
Since the Aries man knows that no one has successfully dominated him
from the time he was born, he might feel like calling it quits when he feels the
first tug-of-war from an Aries girl, but he'd be smarter to curb his annoyance,
and try to tame her instead.
Every Aries woman has a deep, hidden desire to be protected and defended
by her man. In her private daydreams she is always the lovely, gentle Guinevere,
and he is the kind, tender, strong Lancelot - or he'd better be if he doesn't
want his Guinevere to become a frustrated Virginia Woolf, which is a very possible
and most undesirable result when a man either leans too far backward with
her, in an attempt to please - or leans too far forward, in an attempt to take
charge. The former probably won't occur often, because leaning over backward
is not a normal position or direction for the typical male Ram. Leaning too far
forward is more likely. But he should understand that her Guinevere wish to be
conquered is purely romantic and sexual. It has little or nothing to do with the
personality, or other areas of her life. His masculine Mars macho that keeps her
starry-eyed and emotionally fulfilled on a stroll along the beach, or in the privacy
of the bedroom, won't normally be welcomed regarding activities separated
from romance. She draws a sharp line between submitting romantically and
submitting in other ways, and it's best for him to realize this if he wants to keep
her. Expecting this lady to keep his curfews or follow his orders is unwise, but
ignoring her is downright dangerous. He's capable of making all these mistakes
until he learns she'll neither toe the line nor be brought to heel by the dictator
treatment, because she's cut from the same mold as he - which was, of course,
thrown away after the Aries Sun Sign was made. That's how Rams believe that
the old saying got started "They threw away the mold when they made you,
baby." They sure did. (Actually, it refers to the ancient potter's mold, but it
fits the Aries situation quite aptly.)
The first thing the Aries girl will notice about her male counterpart is that
he's even more bossy, belligerent and bellicose than she is. Obviously - and
also fortunately. If she's puzzled by the Yin and the Yang of it, a brief meditation
on her all-time-favorite faerie story might cause her to experience the dawn
of comprehension.
This woman never failed to cry, as a child, when she read about the Prince
charging bravely into the woods to find his Princess and awaken her from her
lonely slumber with the kiss of True Love. (Aries females invariably get all soft
and squishy inside at the mere thought of True Love, their idealism in affairs of
the heart being as eternal as Spring itself.) But really now, dear Aries girl, when
you're honest with yourself, would it all have been quite so magical if the fiery,
courageous Princess had come charging bravely into the woods on her horse to
claim her Prince and rescue him from the Wicked Witch? The same meditation
should be practiced on all the other faerie tales she still believes in, and dreams
of every fortnight or so. Imagine dainty Cinderella, red-faced, puffing and perspiring,
as she tried to shove a glass Hush-Puppy on her Prince's foot, to see if it
fitted him. Mother Nature knows what she's doing. The Aries man-woman relationship
will stand a better chance of success if she permits him to steal her
Mars thunder. It somehow sounds better coming from him - if he doesn't carry
it too far. Besides, since she's no stranger to toughness herself, she knows very
well, if she'll stop to ponder it, that his tough Aries facade is only a cover for his
quivering Aries idealism, his desperate inner longing to be needed - and noticed.
All right, so she should notice him as he sits there astride his white horse,
shooting off all that Aries bossiness to disguise his secret fear that no one will
ever love him as much as he knows he needs to be loved (which is considerable)
- unless he demands it. This man can be very tender and gentle, for all
his brash independence, and he's an expert at pretending he's not hurt when
he's actually been deeply wounded. She knows how that is. Since they're both
aware of all these Mars secrets about each other, you'd think they would cool
the fireworks, but it usually takes more than one painful lesson to teach them
the futility of constant ego challenges. Often, the ultimate lesson is the frightening
experience of nearly losing each other, then realizing at the last minute,
before the ultimate and final disaster - like the old silent films Perils of Pauline
serial - that meeting Force with Force never works.
If she'll do all her Mars charging at her man's enemies, instead of at him,
he'll adore her for it, and in return he'll give her every bit as much loyalty as she
gives him. That's certainly a fair trade. But somebody has to start it.
It may seem at first that these two are well mated sexually, since they both
require essentially the same thing of love - that it be the kind of physical-emotional
blending poets write about as the epitome of the soul-mate theory, which
nearly every Arian believes in as absolute romantic dogma. Whether they use
the term "soul-mate" itself or not, Rams never doubt, when they love, that their
union was not only Made In Heaven, but also made to last throughout a lifetime
- and beyond. However, before this potential peak of harmony becomes a
reality, a serious obstacle must be overcome - the instinctive, although almost
always unintentional, selfishness of this Sun Sign.
Now, everything everybody wants to know about sex (whether he - or
she - has been afraid to ask or not) is based on either deliberate or non-deliberate
selfishness, using the partner for self-gratification. Not how can I bring him
(or her) more fulfillment, but how can I be more fulfilled? Sex-sex-sex. Doctors
David Reuben, Masters and Johnson, Kinsey and Freud, have all explained
it, tested it, researched it, analyzed it, observed it, photographed it, taped it, listened
to it, written about it - just about everything but demonstrated it in public
auditoriums. (Too much competition from stage, film and magazines.) But
most men and women still haven't received the message.
It might be a good idea for these Mars lovers to buy one of those large posters,
showing a couple walking, blissfully hand-in-hand, toward the mountains,
the ocean or the cornfields, gazing into each other's eyes . . . with the inscription
at the bottom: LOVE BEGINS WHEN THE NEEDS OF SOMEONE ELSE
BECOME MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR OWN.... and nail it firmly
near their bed, right next to the tapestry depicting THE WEDDING OF ROMEO
AND JULIET, which always hangs in spirit, if not in actuality, on the
wall of every Aries bedroom. Romeo and Juliet were also soul-mates, you see -
but they were unselfish. It's not necessary for the Aries man and woman to end
their honeymoon with a double suicide scene in order to prove unselfishness. A
little thoughtful consideration on both sides will suffice.
When these traces of infantile selfishness have been erased by tenderness,
the sexual sharing of love between these two can be an ecstatic exchange. With
Aries, sex is composed of strange contradictions, barely comprehended, causing
their mating to be an incredible combination of explosive desire, direct and penetrating,
fiery and uncontrolled.... and haunting fragments of flowers in the
rain, fresh breezes and glittering snow diamonds. That's what happens when
the powerful thrust of Mars is gentled by being expressed through the naivete
and starry wonder of the symbolic Aries Infant. It creates a rare and startling
blend of abandoned, stormy emotion - and the peace of a still and silent dawn.
At once primitive - and poetic. The alchemy of equal parts of searing passion
and fragile innocence is very nearly a holy thing. Obviously, then, at its very
best, the sexual union between two Rams can be an experience to cherish. Even
at its worst, it will be interesting.
What will she do if he flirts with other girls? Well, what would he do if she
flirts with other men? Same thing. An emotional explosion of the hydrogen
bomb magnitude - which is just as foolish and suicidal to love as the actual hydrogen
bomb is to our planet. Each Ram will let the other know unmistakably
that iron bars on individual freedom will not be tolerated. But it's a one-sided
freedom, since each of them refuses to be strangled by jealousy, while at the
same time displaying intense jealousy of the other. Aries people do tend to want
to have their cake and eat it, and it may take several noisy, emotional scenes to
teach them that they can't have it both ways. They'll have to learn that love's
not a game to be won, a battle to be fought or even a prize to be won. It's a
gift - to be given. Rams will demand a lot of things from life, and get them.
But no one, not even an Aries, can demand love.
He'll make it clear that she should not dare to be jealous of him, but she
had better not even look at another man. She'll make it just as clear that he's
not to smother her with jealousy, but at the same time, he d better not be caught
glancing with the slightest flicker of interest at another woman.
You know what that is? It's selfish. If you're an Aries, you may not have
thought about it like that, but think about it. Rams can even become jealous if
they notice a smile on the loved one's face in sleep. Who is he (or she) dreaming
about? And don't believe that very question hasn't been asked by lots of Aries
couples in the morning. "Well, you must have had pleasant dreams last night.
Were you meeting your old boy friend in your astral body?" And don't think
the answer hasn't been: "It's none of your business what I dream. Besides, I noticed
you weren't so anxious to wake up when I kissed you Good Morning just
now. Were you lying there, half awake, practicing mental telepathy with that
girl you flirted with at the supermarket last week?"
There are variations of dialogue, but such confrontations are a definite possibility
when two Rams have promised to love, honor and cherish - but never to
obey! The solution is for these two to practice their own telepathic communication,
and to reassure each other of their undying devotion constantly, because
the symbolic Infant's subconscious fear of losing love lies at the bottom of all
Aries jealousy, incongruous as it may seem, as it struggles with the conscious
Mars urge for personal independence. If he forgets to call to say he'll be later
for dinner, who better than she should understand his need to follow a sudden
impulse without first holding a committee meeting?
Should the winds of April call him away from the hearth, she may be simultaneously
called to follow her own skylark cadenza, and when they return to
each other, they can exchange magical tales of the wonders they nearly touched,
the miracles they almost caught. An Aries man who's out there rushing after
some new, exciting goal he just discovered is simply being true to himself, and
the Aries woman who faces the truth must admit she couldn't really love a man
who wasn't true to himself. The new, exciting goal needn't be a woman. Not
unless it becomes a woman through her unfounded jealousy. If she trusts him
completely, she probably won't regret it, because an Aries man, more so than
any other Sun Sign male, will usually live up to exactly what's expected of him.
And that works in reverse too. What's sauce for the goose is surely sauce for the
gander between these lovers,
A couple of years ago I received a letter from an Aries woman married to an
Aries man. They have three children, one Gemini and two Taureans. She described
so well the happiness that can result from a double 1-1 Sun Sign vibration
(with some effort) that I'm going to quote part of her letter here. She wrote,
in part:
" and when I read aloud the last paragraph of the Aries woman section,
in your book Sun Signs, to my also Aries husband - the part that says,
'She may be a little impulsive, bossy and independent, but you can't have everything'
- he asked, 'What else would a man want?' My Aries husband understands
me, and he'll always be able to hold me, even though I sometimes threaten
to leave him when our Ram's horns clash. It's because, as your book says -
when I 'come running into his arms, my world all dark and dismal' - he holds
me close, and comforts me, and would never, never say - 'What did you do to
deserve it?' - like that darned Libra man you wrote about in Sun Signs! I never
realized before just how important that is to me."
So, you see, an Aries-Aries relationship can work. And the two of them
needn't sacrifice their Mars courage, initiative or independence. The Aries
woman who wrote that letter ended it with a postscript:
"I have a tremendous urge to tell you to add Ayn Rand to your list of
prominent Aquarians. She fits it like a glove. But of course, you know I
wouldn't sign off this letter without at least one suggestion on how to run your
business."
An Aries to the end she was, but a girl Ram who's learned to admit her
Mars need to take the lead, and can laugh about it, instead of either denying it
or being ashamed of it - has learned an important lesson. You must love yourself
(which requires both honesty and humor) before anyone else can love you.
I'm sorry to say I've lost that lady Ram's name and address, since I typed out
the excerpt from her letter, and if she reads this, I hope she writes again, so I can
answer a vital question she asked.
If the Aries man and his Aries woman each practice the Golden Rule, and
do unto one another as they would have the other do unto them, assuming their
mutual Sun-Moon aspects are not discordant, their relationship will bring to
them both the reward of emotional maturity, plus the best of all possible gifts -
the freedom to be completely themselves with one another, with no fear of rejection.
When they quarrel, he may threaten to leave her in the heat of the moment,
but he probably won't. Not for keeps anyway. Once he's loved an Aries woman,
all other girls will seem boring. (Restful, perhaps, by comparison, but boring.)
She feels the same way about him when she threatens to leave and doesn't
mean it. But she should try to remember that he can chop wood, blast through
granite mountains, pilot planes, build houses, govern a city, state or nation,
change tires, practice medicine or law, produce and direct films, operate a tractor,
and shovel snow - at least as well as she can. It may no longer be true that
a woman's place is in the home. But it will be eternally true that a woman's
place is inside her man's heart.