ARIES-VIRGO

The ARIES-VIRGO Relationship

Indeed they were constantly bumping... if they saw a
cloud in front of them, the more they tried to avoid it, the
more certainly did they bump into it.
Aries likes to generalize, hates to bother with details, and is bored by meticulous
analysis. Virgo is meticulous, likes to analyze details, and abhors generalities.
That gives you some idea of the distance between these two Sun Signs to begin
with - and now that we've begun, here are a few more.
Rams initiate all their actions from pure feeling - they trust their emotions
and are skeptical of undue practicality. Virgos are practical, they trust their
mentality, and are skeptical of pure feelings and emotions. When Aries people
are upset, they'll usually shout it from the rooftops and open up their grievances
to air them out. When Virgos are upset, they keep it buried inside and shut up
their grievances to gather the rust of resentment. Rams are careless of their
physical health, yet they're seldom chronically ill. Virgos are extremely careful
of their physical health, yet they frequently complain of assorted symptoms of
illness. And that's only a partial list of their differences.
Both of them are usually quick to help others, although their motivations
are somewhat different. Arians do it because it makes them feel good to be the
cause of happiness, since it proves to them that they can pull off a minor miracle
anytime the occasion arises. Virgos do it because it gives a Virgin the nervous
twidgets to stand by and see confusion adding up to chaos, when a little clear
thinking would, in their practical opinion, untangle all the snarls. It's instinctive
for a Virgo to step in, take a nip and tuck here and there, then go on his or
her way without either waiting for or desiring any thanks. Aries won't wait
around too long for thanks either, but you'd better believe the Ram desires it. If
it isn't forthcoming, Aries will be both hurt and angry, unlike Virgo, who doesn't
really expect too much of people anyway, and is therefore capable of shrugging
off ingratitude by chalking it up as just another one of the many imperfections
of human nature.
It's true that both of them lean toward purity of purpose. Each wistfully
longs for the beauty of the spirit and seeks a shining ideal. Aries and Virgo ride
together on a mutual search for truth and loveliness, but when their snow-white
steeds reach a fork in the road, they take off in different directions. The Rams
blindly and instinctively believe they'll find what they're looking for, despite all
disappointments and the apparent impossibility of success. Virgos have little or
no hope of ever actually discovering the Holy Grail, and even if they did, you
can be sure they would find a chip in it.
Still, regardless of all these split-offs in their personality patterns, the Ram
and the Virgin, when their paths cross, can find a strange comfort in their relationship.
If it's business, admiration and respect - and a mutual desire to help
one another - will nearly always result from the association. If it's friendship, it
will probably take a business twist somewhere along the way. In the family circle,
there's also much warm satisfaction possible through this blending of the
two divergent natures, influenced by the 6-8 Sun Sign Pattern vibration.
Aries and Virgo often confide things in each other they would never tell
anyone else. They seem to sense that the mutual trust implied by intimate confession
won't be violated - and it seldom is, though the Ram may find it hard to
conceive of how the situation described by Virgo could ever have developed,
considering his or her own outlook. Likewise, the Virgin will sincerely sympathize
with the Ram's experiences, even while privately failing to comprehend
why they were ever permitted to occur.
Yet, no matter how close Aries and Virgo may be, Aries will feel deeply Virgo's
frown of displeasure when he (or she) is late for an appointment, goofs off,
or becomes careless and irresponsible. It's never as easy for the Ram to enjoy
work as it is for the Virgin. What Aries views as harmless procrastination, Virgo
interprets as an almost sinful waste of valuable time. Of course, after office,
study, or family obligations are properly attended to (all of which may take endless
time and attention), when there are no guilty twinges because everything is
nicely snuggled away in its own cubbyhole - the Virgins often lead rather interesting
and, in rare cases, even shockingly unorthodox private lives, when they
lose those compulsive worries.
Sooner or later, after these two have spent a reasonable amount of time together,
the Rams will be sure to remind Virgo of his or her inclination toward
unnecessary worry and receive a reply like, "What compulsive worries? I don't
allow things to bother me to excess." Whereupon Aries is likely to retort, "Oh,
no? How about the morning last week when you missed your daily shower because
you couldn't find the Ivory Soap, and you won't use any other kind -
spilled a drop of ink on your shoe, and found a fly in your soup at lunch? You
had a splitting headache and nervous indigestion for days afterward."
The Virgo rejoinder probably will be, "That is somewhat exaggerated and
incorrect. The indigestion lasted only three hours and forty-five minutes, and it
was caused by that dreadful, greasy soup I ate, not by my nerves. The headache
lasted sixty-five minutes - not several days - and was the result of my not getting
enough sleep the night before, not from compulsive worries. I missed my
shower, not because I couldn't find the particular bar of soap I always use, but
because I was late for an appointment. As for the ink, naturally I was a little upset
about ruining a twenty-two-dollar pair of shoes I've only worn for a couple of
years. I can't afford to be as casual about money as you are."
That last remark is Virgo's tactful way of accusing Aries of being extravagant.
Virgins are careful to maintain scrupulous politeness when they're annoyed, so
their irritability is softened by their typical courtesy.
Because Virgos are so analytical and fond of clarity, Aries people are inclined
to look on them as picky and cold. Far from being cold, however, Virgos
are the most inwardly sentimental of all the Sun Signs. (The important word in
that sentence is "inwardly." It causes all the misunderstandings.) Their very
discrimination itself implies high ideals for things and people to live up to, and
when they don't - well, anyone would be cranky once in a while, from being so
constantly disillusioned. Virgos are frequently nervous around Aries people because
the Virgins dislike being openly firm - and dealing with a Ram requires,
at times, being openly firm. The Arian impulsiveness can cause Virgo to feel secretly
inadequate because of being helpless to change a situation, so they'll
sometimes try to cover the feeling with a judgmental attitude - a kind of silent
disapproval. It doesn't really matter what kind it is. Any kind of disapproval
will annoy Aries, even if it's only vaguely implied and not verbalized. It is, nevertheless,
felt or sensed. The typical Aries man or woman isn't looking for reasonable
discussions or cool, sensible Virgo remarks about right and wrong,
what's proper and practical, and what is not. Rams respond beautifully to generosity
of spirit in others - and quite unpleasantly to stuffiness or criticism.
Aries will often rebel and struggle for identity in a close association with a Virgo
because he (or she) considers calm, rational talks a cold substitution for affectionate
warmth, friendliness, and an open-hearted manner.
Yet, when there's a favorable aspect between the Sun and Moon in the
charts, Aries and Virgo can grace one another with many mutual blessings. In
an Aries-Virgo association where there is such a harmonious Luminary influence,
the Ram may surprise himself (or herself) by following Virgo's quiet example
and paying serious attention to Virgo's always well-meant and helpful advice.
And the Virgins will surprise themselves too, by allowing the Rams to coax
them into losing many of their inhibitions and dropping a few layers of their
usually sedate behavior. All it really takes for this combination to blend
smoothly is for each person to spend more time concentrating on the virtues of
the other, rather than dwelling on the differences.
The clerk in the supermarket who frowns at the cash register and crankily
scolds you for not taking your place in line is probably a Virgo. But the softly
smiling, mild-mannered, and bright clerk who courteously answers your questions
about where the soybean patties are kept and when the fresh melons will
be available, and cheerfully helps you pick up the things that spilled from your
cart is probably also a Virgo.
The customer who aggressively demands to be waited on immediately in a
store, than leaves all the clothes hanging on a peg in the dressing room, after
trying them on impatiently and deciding they all look dreadful - is probably an
Aries. But the friendly, trusting person who will loan a stranded, out-of-town
stranger ten dollars without even asking why it's needed is probably also an
Aries.
The thing of which Virgo is seldom aware is that Aries senses unerringly
whether the Virgin's concern over his or her welfare stems from genuine devotion,
affection, and friendliness - or merely from a dutiful obligation. And
when it stems from the latter, the Ram would just as soon try to manage alone
as to accept help from someone whose true sympathy and heart isn't involved in
the offer, however much he (or she) may need Virgo's assistance and advice.
As far apart as they seem to be at first glance, however, Aries and Virgo can
stumble upon some happy surprises when they hike along together and take
care to avoid the thistles, brambles, and thorns of disagreement. In the Ram,
the Virgin can find someone really worthy of helping toward achievement, some
one who will generously shower Virgo with a warmly enthusiastic and touching
gratitude in return, someone who may even be able to unlock the little doors of
those Virgo inhibitions and private longings. In the Virgin, the Rams can find
the sincere appreciation they need - and a heart as honest and loyal as their
own. Virgo can teach Aries to discover beauty in small things, to know the wisdom
of waiting - to believe in the eventual success of patience. Aries can teach
Virgos to discover and believe in themselves.

ARIES Woman VIRGO Man

He was so much the humblest of them, indeed he was the
only humble one, that Wendy was specially gentle with
him.
When anyone describes an Aries girl as pushy, bossy, emotional, impulsive, impractical,
and impossibly immature, the Virgo man who has loved her will nearly
always disagree. He didn't find her to be any of those things.
To him, she was a lot of woman - perhaps too much woman for him to handle
- but he remembers her as direct and honest, fresh and innocent. "She was
generous with her time and money," he'll say. "She shared my idealism about
love, taught me many things, and treated me gently and kindly. She may have
been a little hurt or jealous occasionally, but she never created any really violent
scenes. She was always willing to talk it over with me - to listen to reason. And
when we made up after a minor quarrel, she made me believe in happiness all
over again, like the very first time. She was gentle, affectionate - and eternally
young."
When he finishes that nostalgic speech, his companion will probably ask,
"Are you sure she was an Aries?"
Yes, she was an Aries, ruled by Mars, the planet of war and aggressive action.
But an Aries woman surprisingly often will show her softer side, her hidden
femininity, and her deep latent capacity for unselfish love to a Virgo. When
she finds a man who's kind and considerate, a man who admires her courage and
her bright mind, who seldom competes with her, who teaches her tenderly, sympathizes
with her faults, and has faith in her dreams - she trusts him with her
whole heart. Her hidden Aries insecurities and secret fears of inadequacy melt
away, and with them, the need to assert herself forcefully, in the mistaken belief
that to conquer is to win - in love, as in war. The necessity for combat disappears
when the total love she seeks so desperately is given to her as a gift, purely
and completely, as Virgo love is always given, with no strings attached.
Then why didn't it last? Virgo's instinctive fear of matrimony. Since the
Aries woman is unable to see patience as a virtue and expects all her wishes to
come true instantly, the second she says "abracadabra," she may lose heart (perhaps
too soon), run away in tears, and eventually convince herself it was only a
lovely friendship. Strangely enough, that's just what a broken love affair between
these two frequently becomes after the scars have healed. Thanks to Virgo's
inbred courtesy and gallantry, there are fewer bitter memories than those
which usually linger after a shattered romance between other Sun Signs.
Still, sometimes love does last forever between Aries and Virgo, and when it
does, Life can be very beautiful. There will be a few shadows scattered throughout
the sunlight, however, and they'll have to be faced realistically, not emotionally.
He's willing to face anything realistically, without self-deception, but she
may need some help. (In fact, she may need a lot of help.) But if she should
succeed, she deserves more credit than he does. A Virgo man finds it easy to
analyze a situation, spot the flaws, reach a compromise, and clear away the confusion.
He really doesn't deserve much praise for doing what is so instinctive,
what comes so naturally to him. The Aries girl's natural reaction to a problem is
to first slam it with a hammer, then butt against it with those Ram horns, hoping
to demolish it. If that doesn't work, she's ready to sit down and discuss the
pros and cons of it, but the pros may be all on her side - the cons on his. Therefore,
if she can learn to face a misunderstanding with a cool temper and a rational
mind, she deserves the kind of appreciation reserved for those who accomplish
the nearly impossible.
All those memories of the girl Ram that the Virgo man we discussed before
still retains in his neat mind were formed when their love was new. If the affair
had lasted longer or developed into marriage, she may have seemed to him a trifle
less like an angel. He might also have seemed to her a few inches shorter
than a saint. Most of the squabbles between Aries and Virgo will blow hot and
cold over his urge to criticize her. If he's truly analytical, he'll soon realize that,
with her, he's safer when the wind blows hot than when it blows cold. As I've
counseled repeatedly, there's more to fear from Aries ice than from Aries fire.
The latter soon burns itself out. The former can shock the astrological novice,
when the Aries woman stops crying "wolf and cries "good-bye." Once she's
gone she's not likely to look over her shoulder to yesterday. The freedom of today
may be far more exciting to her than the fast-fading recollection of past
heartache. It has been said that Rams never learn from burning themselves on a
hot stove. They're always ready to touch it again. Perhaps. But not necessarily
the same stove. That's worth remembering.
Back to the criticism. True, he has secret ways of convincing her that his
criticisms don't mean she isn't loved. But loved or not, she won't be happy
when the list of her shortcomings is longer than the list of her talents and virtues.
If he wants a tranquil relationship with this woman, he'll learn to appreciate
her taste and cleanliness in creating an attractive home, and refrain from
peeking under the sink to see if she's polished the drain on the garbage disposal
- or poking into the closet to see if she's scrubbed the shelves. She probably
hasn't. Someone else can do all that. Like him. Or a maid.
She could also have a habit of spend now - pay later - which may bring on
periodic spells of Virgo nervousness. Pouting in the corner, nagging, or hiding
the credit cards won't work with Aries. The best solution is to let her get a job
and squander her own money.
The combination of Aries and Virgo is a 6-8 Sun Sign Pattern. Among other
things, this means that devotion, service, and working together will always be
part of their relationship. It also means something which may come as a surprise
to those who don't understand astrology - a strangely compelling sexual
attraction. She represents sexual mystery to him. He represents to her the kind
of sexual relationship she can trust. Somehow, despite the basic differences in
their natures, these two may enjoy a rare compatibility of physical desire and
expression. Perhaps it's born of the essential innocence and purity of intent the
symbolic Infant and the symbolic Virgin bring, in an esoteric sense, to their
lovemaking. Or it may be their mutual belief that sexual union is the ultimate
blending of a man and woman's deepest yearnings, bringing their bodies, minds,
and souls together in a singing unison of purpose and mutual tenderness. It
could be this woman's directness, the simplicity of her approach to intimacy,
that appeals to the Virgo man's innate honesty - or his unselfish consideration
of her needs that touches her so tenderly - and the fact that his latent passion
can be aroused only with someone who joins him in the desire to raise physical
love to a higher level than a casual erotic encounter or a brief pleasure.
Whatever the reason, the sexual relationship between them is usually a
strong force, often resulting in the kind of emotional peace and physical fulfillment
that makes it easier for them to tolerate the differences and tensions in
other areas of their togetherness. With Aries and Virgo, sex is a renewal of hope
and rededication to each other. In most Aries-Virgo unions, the Virgo man will
feel that the Aries female is all the woman he'll ever want or need. The enthusiasm
of her spontaneous passion nearly always deepens his basic earthy instincts.
But she may sometimes feel that he's not spontaneous or involved enough in
passion, and she may lie awake beside him on more than one night, wondering to
herself if this is all there is to love. Somehow, she hoped it would be more like
her daydreams, more stormy and wild and abandoned. She adores his gentleness
and consideration, but she may wish occasionally he'd make her feel really
truly conquered and overpowered - like Heathcliffe and Cathy on the moors.
The girl Ram must comprehend that the Virgo man she loves is frequently
driven, by the combined forces of his foster ruler Mercury and his true, as yet
undiscovered, ruling planet Vulcan, to commit himself to the mental gymnastics
of the moment - and pursue a thought to its conclusion. When she accuses him
of neglecting her at these times, he won't understand. His busy mind has been
busy meditating on amoebas, splitting and popping into the air as they reproduce
themselves. At a time like that, to be pulled back to the reality of manwoman
love can annoy him. She'll resent his detachment, and her instinctive
urge to employ the fiery Mars method of demanding that he pay attention to
her can create some unpleasant scenes between them. He'll intensely dislike being
boxed in by her insistence on direct answers. Especially when he's immersed
in one of his frequent spells of deep-blue depression and futility.
At these times, the only way to handle him is to pretend she doesn't even
notice his gloom and sadness. She should make a conscious effort to remain
cheerful herself, totally curb her own sensitivity to neglect - and concentrate all
her concern and sympathy toward him, not herself. She should suggest happy
things for the two of them to do . . . and talk about positive plans for the future.
But quietly and sparingly - not in a running streak of conversation, which will
only drive him deeper into mental seclusion. He doesn't need chattering when
he's worried and won't tell her what it is that's troubling him. He needs to know
she's there, that's a l l . . . that she's somewhere near, singing or humming . . . confidently
going about her business in the background. It gives him a feeling of security.
Even if he turns a deaf ear toward her suggestions to go somewhere and refuses
to budge under her gentle urging to change the scene, he'll gradually come
around if she doesn't press him. Once is enough for any suggestion. If he
doesn't pick up on i t . . . wait for a while. The one thing he doesn't need during
these Virgo worry sessions is the third degree . . . or the added burden of seeing
the woman he loves in tears because his silence and detachment have caused her
to feel neglected, and therefore sorry for herself. Self-pity is the very worst
thing the girl Ram can allow herself to indulge in when her Virgo man has temporarily
retreated from her, mentally and emotionally. Patience, gentleness,
tenderness, and just being there if he should need her . . . these are the ingredients
of the subtle alchemy guaranteed to bring the twinkling stars back to shine
again in his clear, calm Virgo eyes.
She should stop finding fault with him (Aries is quick to imitate, and may
pick up the Virgo critical syndrome after a time) and instead count her blessings.
This man will seldom interfere with her freedom by imposing unnecessary
restraints and restrictions on her activities. (This is wise of him, because she'd
do her own thing anyway, through sheer resentment at being told how to behave,
where to go, and what time to return.) But there's no denying that the
sometimes sharp and satirical words of the Virgo male can deeply wound this
woman in the sensitive area of her self-confidence. Also, he may not be as demonstrative
as she'd like him to be - not in relation to their sexual intimacy,
but in their day-to-day communication and contact.
Demonstrative affection does not flow easily with Virgo and may have to be
deliberately cultivated if he wants to keep her, because the tangible expressions
of devotion (the small touching things, such as bear hugs, a kiss on the cheek, a
meaningful wink across the room, or an unexpected tight handclasp) are a deepseated
need within her. If these constant reassurances of love are missing from
their relationship, her belligerence and defiance will grow in direct proportion to
the degree of her emotional starvation.
The Aries girl is gregarious, affectionate, and demonstrative. It hurts and
worries her when the man she loves makes it clear he'd rather be busy doing other
things without her now and then. But he needs many more moments alone
than most other men, for without them, his Virgo crankiness, nervousness, and
irritability can increase. Although it won't be easy for the girl Ram to really
understand her Virgo man's frequent need for privacy and solitude, she can
comfort herself with the thought that this man is far less likely than any other
Sun Sign to hurt her by flirting with another woman when he's not with her.
Like Aries, Virgo usually falls in love for keeps. Yes, I know love that lasts forever
is rare enough to be a miracle. But if you expect a miracle, you'll find
it every time.

ARIES Man VIRGO Woman

"Oh, say you're pleased," cried Nibs
He was a lovely boy, clad in skeleton leaves and the juices
that ooze out of trees; but the most entrancing thing about
him was that he had all his first teeth. When he saw that
she was a grown-up, he gnashed the little pearls at her.
It's sad, but often true. An Aries man will at some time in his relationship with
a Virgo woman feel the need to prove to her that his ideas and ideals are sensible,
that he is emotionally mature - and in general, he will try to arouse her enthusiasm
for his plans, his ambitions, and his feelings.
It's not that she isn't pleased, but her response, if she's a typical Virgin,
may leave him with a vague sense that she somehow disapproves of what he's
been trying to tell her. She probably does. She may wholeheartedly support
most of what he's projecting and imagining, but there will nearly always be some
small portion of his narrative she feels is off-center, or not well enough thought
out and constructed. Virgos are like that. They spot the weak links in the chain
and warn you about them before the chain breaks. We all really ought to be
grateful to them for this neat habit they have of pointing out flaws before it's
too late, so the bottom line and the end result of every venture will be more perfectly
successful. Most people are properly grateful for Virgo's ability to bring
calm order out of chaotic disorder. Not the Ram. He'll fiercely resent her lack
of total commitment to his causes, his emotions, his outrages, his dreams, and
his superiority. After a time, he may angrily accuse her of having no sensitivity
and no imagination.
He's very wrong. This girl possesses a lovely, sensitive imagination. Other
children may eat "Chicken and Stars" soup for years without a single comment,
but when she was a little girl, she would always delightedly exclaim (quietly,
shyly, to herself, when no one could hear) "Oh, just see the little stars floating in
my soup!" When someone gave her ginger ale in a cut-glass goblet one morning,
and it caught the sunlight, she cried out (within) "Oh, how perfectly marvelous!
I have a rainbow in my ginger bubbles!"
Just because she whispered these marvels only to her secret make-believe
best friend - and seldom or never exclaimed them aloud, she grew up with everyone
around her thinking she was terribly prosaic and unimaginative - because
she didn't flaunt her brilliant mind and private thoughts. Then he came
along, the handsome, dashing Ram, to make her feel she was a very special person.
It warmed her cool Virgin heart, and made her more sure of herself than
she had ever been before. Now here he is, like all the others, accusing her of
having no imagination. Insensitive? Perhaps he's the one who's insensitive.
This woman's inner world may not be peopled with imaginary faerie creatures
every single moment of the day. Nevertheless, it's a beautiful land of wonder,
because she sees loveliness in the small and ordinary things. Once the Aries
man who cherishes her truly comprehends this - stops yelling at her and putting
her down - he can persuade her to open the locked trunk of her wistful
yearnings and secret fancies and expose them to the warm sunbeams of loving
affection - encourage her to bring her fears out into the fresh air, instead of
holding hurt inside, where it may grow into migraine headaches and all manner
of aches and pains and physical ills. Yes, she will learn much of value from him.
He can learn a lot from her too. Like thoughtful consideration for others -
the peace and happiness of serving (instead of being served). This she demonstrates
nearly every day they're together. Yet he seldom notices. He doesn't see
her gentle smile when he silently wishes for a magic elf to help him with something
he's doing physically or some problem he's pondering mentally. She glides
into the confusion so softly, he's hardly aware of her presence and helps to
make things come out right, even without being asked. Also without expecting
to be praised. She would glow under his gratitude, but she won't demand it of
him. She's only doing what comes naturally to Virgo when she's helping, so
praise is not her aim, since ego and self-aggrandizement are not her motives.
Still, it wouldn't hurt him to notice - and perhaps say "thank you, darling" now
and then. He might even say "thank you for loving me"... because the pure
love of a Virgo woman is a priceless gift, never given casually.
A Virgo woman is so nice to come home to when she likes herself, is being
herself - and allowing the Ram she loves to be himself. If she's a typical Virgin,
she's unobtrusive (unobtrusive compared to Aries!), yet bright and pleasant, a
joy to be around. She's quiet and courteous and she needs lots of affection (for
which she'll never ask, any more than she asks for gratitude). She's sometimes
critical, yes, but ordinarily she's at least polite while she's hair-splitting and nitpicking.
The Aries man who loves this intelligent feminine creature might comfort
her when she's blue and discouraged over some small mistake she's made (Virgos
tend strongly toward self-chastisement) by reminding her that even the gentle
Nazarene momentarily made the mistake of losing his wonted "perfect" control
when he lashed the money changers in the temple. Then too, there are the
"lost years," during which the humble carpenter isn't mentioned in the scriptures
(quite a number of them, as a matter of fact). The Ram might tell his
worried Virgo lady it's probably that, during those "lost years," Jesus more than
once nailed the wrong boards together in the carpentry shop of his father, Joseph
miscalculated his taxes, which were due to be paid to Caesar's Internal
Revenue (or didn't make it to Bethlehem in time to pay them on the deadline
date), ripped his robe on a sharp rock stubbed his toe . . . was briefly
cranky with Mary Magdalene . . . . and committed who knows how many other
miscellaneous minor goofs? Thanks to the uptight censors of the scriptures, no
one does. But one can make a spiritually educated guess. And who is she, the
Ram can then ask her, to aspire to a more flawless record of human behavior
than that of such a simple, humble man as Jesus of Nazareth?
It may help to enlighten the Virgo woman to how unnecessary most of her
worries about her failures really are. And help her to see that perfection is not
the requirement for self-acceptance she so often believes it to be.
There's frequently a misty enchantment inherent in the physical love between
the Aries man and the Virgo woman. These two are rather likely to be
among the few people still left who are still sexually unpolluted by the explicit
sex being flaunted in everyone's faces, whether they like it or not. The Ram is a
confirmed idealist (and a super-jealous one besides), whereas the female Virgin
is normally turned off by sexual or any other kind of vulgarity and cheapness.
She also would prefer him not to leave the catsup bottle on the dining-room table.
Discrimination flashes its sparkles into many facets of human existence,
from sex to catsup bottles to messy closets and untidy drawers - not to mention
sloppy thinking and a dull intellect. Her own thinking is never sloppy, her own
intellect never dull.
Their lovemaking will reflect their mutual idealism and subconscious
search for purity and innocence. This doesn't mean the physical aspect of love
between them will lack passion. The male Ram, ruled as he is by Mars, is passion
personified. Yet, he's also touchingly affectionate, usually mindful of the
small things related to sexual unity - and she will respond to this quality in him
with genuine joy. But she must be careful not to criticize his romantic techniques
or allow her innate coolness of approach to make ashes of the flaming
sort of sexual expression he offers her so trustingly. Conversely, he must be
careful not to offend her sense of delicacy by always making sure that tenderness
and gentleness are a part of their union. It would also help if he didn't pout
or feel so wounded those times when she'd rather demonstrate her love for him
in ways other than physical. The vitality of his sexual stamina may often exceed
hers - and when it does, he should remind himself that patience is a virtue
which brings its own reward - in addition to the reward of her return to being a
warm, loving woman.
He must simply give her time to rest awhile and refresh her desires. Also,
he should know that her enthusiasm for making love will always be somewhat
diluted in direct ratio to the vexing worries and problems she's encountered
throughout the hours preceding his need that she surrender herself to him.
Even at best, Virgos never surrender their whole selves to love. Aries men do.
And this is a basic difference between them which will need to be handled with
care.
Despite their natural affinity in matters romantic, these two could allow
their romance to gradually take the form of a less emotionally demanding mutual
mental respect. There's certainly nothing wrong with mutual mental respect,
but it needs a few more brilliant facets to set it off - like mutual emotional involvement
and vibrancy. Still, rarely is even a romantically frustrated Virgo or
Arian unfaithful. Not without monumental cause. It's equally rare, if they're
typical of their Sun Signs, for either to leave or desert the other, even under extreme
provocation - once they've committed themselves to devotion. For to
Virgo, devotion is first analyzed, then defined as more responsibility than senti
ment. Consequently, when a Virgo decides to desert such a "responsibility,"
you can be sure the decision to "cut out" was motivated by personal injury of
such immeasurable depth it decreed either a final solution of escape or actual
mental breakdown. Virgos have little or no immunity to long-continued mental
and emotional pressures.
The Aries man is reluctant to admit he's been wrong about a relationship
for the exact opposite reason than that of Virgo. He keeps trying, not because of
"responsibility," as she does, but because of "sentiment." It's difficult for the
Ram to imagine he could have been mistaken about love, once he's believed in it
with all his heart. This man puts all of himself into every venture, dedicates
himself with fiery intent to every challenge - and love is no different from the
rest. Could Romeo ever stop loving Juliet, or Juliet ever grow tired of Romeo?
Of course not. That's more or less the way he sees it. He forgets that both these
medieval lovers died before they were twenty, and had they lived, they would
probably have experienced their share of misunderstandings and disagreements,
being only human. Strangely, he's as much a perfectionist about love as his Virgo
woman is about everything but love.
It's as though she expected love to have flaws, therefore isn't terribly surprised
when the flaws appear. It's only the other areas of life where she's repeatedly
disillusioned to find things less than flawless. With him it's just the
opposite. Life's major disappointments he can shrug off, but of "love" he demands
perfection. Somewhere in between their oddly transposed views, these
two should be able to find a basis for understanding each other.
When serious trouble arises in this relationship, the tie is usually severed by
the slashing scissors of unbearable outside pressures of one kind or another, not
by a decline of their love. Sometimes it's her near fanatical obsession with the
obligations of a career or her duties in the home. Sometimes it's his fierce ambition
and single-minded purpose that causes him to place her last - after his
great goal in life - his crusade for self-identification. Then she may feel an irresistible
compulsion to interfere by criticizing his attitudes - either privately or
publicly. This first frustrates, then humiliates, and finally angers him into a
Mars-like rage of resentment, which in turn freezes her desire to help him into
icy detachment and an almost smug satisfaction at his misery. Then something
will have to give - fast! Otherwise, their mutual need for reciprocated affection
from each other will soon become secondary to their mutual need for self-respect
- and they'll part, each to seek alone the peace of mind they couldn't find
together.
That's the dark side. The bright side is that this man and woman can mend
the silver cord that links them together each time it breaks - with the magical
healing power of love. But only when he defines love as unselfishness and an
awareness of her needs - only when she defines love as spontaneous trust and
enthusiasm for his dreams. Once these two get their definitions straight, their
love can last and the tiny cracks they mended with mutual consideration
won't even show. Unless the Virgin keeps inspecting it with a magnifying
glass - or the Ram impulsively, carelessly shatters it again. Love is like a precious
work of art, fragile and delicate . . . much lovelier and far more valuable
when it's weathered the years.